Break the Cycle

The first thing that comes to many people’s minds when thinking of a broken family is not only divorce, but a divorce that involves children.

The family that I married into has been wraught with turbulence. I will not go into details that would offend my family. I can say this: the brokenness my husband, his sister, and step sisters, parents, and various step parents experienced affects many of their life choices to this day, sometimes in a negative way. Some choose not to break the cycle of dysfunction. Sometimes, they haven’t even thought that there could be another way outside of the dysfunction.

Continuing a pattern of behavior can be good or bad. The other day, my sister in law and I were sitting around while the kids were in the yard playing. She had invited her father and step mother over. We all had a wonderful time. It was the first time we had all gotten together like this outside of a holiday.

The Buck Stops Here

She and I had decided that between us, this was where the brokenness stops. No matter how the rest of the family acts, it was our job to keep the cousins together, and show our children the stability that my sister in law and her brother never experienced.

We vowed to have dinner every 2 weeks on Sunday, whether her step mother and her father showed up or not-or anyone else for that matter.

Start a New Cycle

I guess my point here is, no matter your upbringing, your past hurt, your familial differences, you can be the one to break the cycle of family dysfunction. You can be the one to show your children and extended family what stability looks like.

I must admit, there are struggles when letting go of old habits. It’s not something that can be done overnight. We ALL have baggage and it’s a matter of unpacking it from our suitcase, dealing with it, and putting it where it belongs.